Though it comes just over a month past I am making the time to write Rowens birth story. With today being fathers day, I believe is an appropriate use of my time. While I could not be happier having two beautiful daughters, I still wonder if this is possible. Am I really the father of two kids? I've discovered that I have difficulty comprehending many of the monumental events in my life. The uncertainties of life, my own inadequacies, and the significance of such events are so weighty that I sometimes find it difficulty to appreciate the gravity of the events as they are happening to me. I felt this a lot with Rowen's birth. Finishing grad school, moving, settling in to a new home, getting the garden in, working, taking care of Aurora, being a husband, and all of life's requirements left me little time for it to sink in that this birth is going to happen. Ready or not.
Winni, our wonderful midwife, had told Shannon at her last checkup that she would bet $50 our baby would come late. We were still in the middle of transitioning from Vancouver to Bellingham move and were glad to have that "extra" time.
Especially so since we had recently, with all of our belonging were packed in a 24' moving truck, almost gone into labor. The day we cleaned our apartment and turned in our keys we were camped out on the Calukins-Timmerman couch when Shannon woke me up saying she was having contractions. And they were getting stronger. THis pronouncement was accompanied with focused intent breathing "whoooooo-sshhhhhhooooooooo". I was deer in the headlights. EVERYTHING was packed. I spent about 30 minutes in complete shock, before I settled into the thought of "okay, we are with great friends (the home of our doula i.e. birth assitant), we can do this". By then Shannon had walked around the apartment and things were receding. We were able to sleep, and finish the move the next day with baby still in utero.
The next two weeks were a wash of unpacking, organizing, getting the garden, and settling into a new home. We were still pregnant, but it felt as if we had dodged and early bullet. I zeroed in all the projects around the house and started a interim job painting houses. On the calender we were reaching the due date, but I wasn't too worried since we still had time. Shannon however, was less excited about the garden other projects and wanted to make preparations for the home birth. On May 18th, two days before the due date, it rained. Since one doesn't paint exteriors in the rain, I was home all day to take care of all of the things on Shannon's list; the must do's before delivery.
We enjoyed a full day of organizing, setting up the birthing room, and making a delicious meal. As we sat to eat Shannon started to feel, "something". That something grew into contractions. Irregular but strong. In my mind I'm thinking, "Is this really happening? What about the baby coming late? Today is 2 days before the actually due date!" After about an hour of increasing labor signs something was definately happening, and this wasn't going to be a false alarm. We called Nora, our doula, who came down from Vancouver with her husband Mike and their son Bridger. (These guys are some of our closest, nigh-unto-family friends). They arrived around 10:00pm, just as I was finishing making homemade strawberry shortcake. Between bites, contractions, getting small children to bed, and calling the midwife we enjoyed the charged anticipation of the calmer moments leading up to real labor.
At 11:00pm I was exhausted, I had been up since 6am, making birthing preparations with no expectation that the baby would be arriving within the day. I went to bed to get some rest, knowing that if this is it, there was a lot of work on the horizon. Winni arrived around 11:30 and checked on Shannon, her contractions were strong, but irregular and largely in her lower uterus. She suggested that Shannon try to get some rest, anything that could be slept through would still be "preparatory" labor. Shannon came to bed at 12:30am. Feeling a mixture of disbelief, anticipation, and mutual exhaustion we fell asleep. The next several hours for Shannon were spent breathing through contractions and falling asleep until they built in regularity and intensity. Through which time, she expereinced an accompanying frustration, that these weren't the real thing, given that the contractions were only concentrated in her lower uterus. At 4:30am, I was woken up with the request to apply pressure to Shannon's lower back. This was it. At 5:00 the contractions were lasting up to a minute and coming every 5-8 minutes. Nora, who had been sleeping upstairs with Mike and the kids, came down to help. We called Winnie, who was sleeping a the nearby birth-center, she would be right over.
Winni arrived at 5:30, and heard Shannon laboring instinctively she said, "oh, that sounds like a pushing one". What? She checked Shannon and said, "we are going to have a baby here soon". I was shocked. WIth Aurora, Shannon had labored for nearly 12 hours before pushing. At this point Shannon had only "really" been laboring less than 2 hours. Irregardless of the surprise this was to both Shannon and I, within minutes of Winnie's pronouncement Shannon was on the bed, bent over her laboring ball and pushing.
It is impossible to describe all that happens in the agonizing moments just before delivery. One feels the anticipation of arrival for a new baby and wonder at the miracle of the human body and the process of birth. Simultaneously though, one experiences deep heartache and suffering as you watch the one you love at the pinnacle of pain and childbirth. With that one can help but experiences a pervading helplessness. One desires to support and comfort but knows and experiences that there is little you can do. A partner can encourage, support, and hold but ultimately all one can do is observe the strength of the one you love, and watch as your child is brought into the world. However, when the moment of birth arrives, and for the first time you see the face of your child, hear their cry, and witness their delivery; all sorrow are turned to joy, all pains are surrendered to love, and the world is new again.
Rowen, a beautiful girl, our little red one. Healthy, peaceful, and tranquil. Without hardly a cry she entered our lives and her mothers arms. It was a beautiful morning, the sun shone through our bedroom window and we were surrounded by loved ones, friends and family. Aurora had slept through the night and woke up with her boosom friend Bridger. They were playing happily with Mike as I came up stairs and invited them to come and meet Auroras new sister. Aurora was excited, she touched the baby, and when we asked her what we should call the new baby she said "soup". Which name she continues to use for her new sister. It was a perfect morning. As Winnie and Nora attended to Shannon I introduced Rowen to Mike, Nora, and Bridger. We laughed and smiled as we reviewed the events of the night. Everyone was healthy. Within a few hours of the delivery Shannon and Rowen were asleep together, as the rest of the birth team including our midwife Winni, enjoyed a breakfast of buttermilk waffles, fresh strawberries, and maple syrup. It had been and was a beautiful birth day.
